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Body Found in Bohannon's Burned-Out Car Not Bohannon

Published on 11/21/2005

By Pernes Tounia

November 21, 2005 – Lake County Sheriff Sonny Valesovic, in a hastily assembled press conference, told the small audience today that the body that was found in Bohannon's burned-out car was not local pop singer Bohannon. “It was not even human,” Valesovic admitted. According to the coroner's office the badly burned bone bits that were left behind “were the remains of a domesticated goat.” Bohannon's 1970 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme flipped over a highway 61 guardrail on November 16 and dropped more than 350 feet to the shore below. The car burst into flames in an area so remote, it simply burned down to what rescuers referred to as “a smoldering, single chunk of metal and not much else.” Bohannon was pronounced dead at the scene by the Sheriff himself. [The driver's side window had been rolled down prior to the crash, leading to speculation that the driver may have been thrown from the car, into the river and down with the current.] “We found physical mammalian remains [in the vehicle] and so made the mistake of declaring them Bohannon,” the Sheriff said. “For this, I apologize on behalf of the entire Lake County team.” However, according to John Bartholomew, Bohannon's next door neighbor, Bohannon kept a goat as a pet. “Giles,” Bartholomew said, “but Bohannon called him 'Baby'. They were almost inseparable,” he went on, “strolling about town, through the parks, around the lake. I remember Bohannon driving around in his blue Subaru convertible with Giles in the back seat and he in the front. I was always struck by how similar their profiles were. Bohannon loved that goat.” But tragedy struck on November 13; a night that seemed to mark a terrible turning point. Bohannon came home from the Buck n Bass Hole after a few drinks around 11:16 p.m. Giles had pulled his stake loose in the backyard and wandered into the driveway. Bohannon turned onto the blacktop and struck the goat. “I heard a loud, short bleat. Then Bohannon yelling,” Bartholomew continued, “When I got across the yard, Bohannon was kneeling near Giles, or Baby and weeping. I think it was then that he really started to unravel. Drinking, smoking, not shaving. He looked quite terrible.” A single seed of a rumor seemed to explode in the stunned silence that Bohannon was in fact alive and seen on the Hallatachee rail bridge. John Wentherer's home overlooks the bridge. The bridge is about a mile from the crash site. “I heard sirens and about a half hour later I felt the need for a smoke and so went out onto my deck,” he said. “It overlooks the river and the bridge.” “I haven't a clue whether it was Bohannon or anyone else for that matter,” he growled. “I only know the guy stood there, stock still and standing a foot or more from the railing.” He went on, “Most people on the bridge lean over the railing looking down at the rapids. But this guy just stood there, black as night – looking straight ahead, above the water. “I watched him for a while and then snubbed out my smoke and went inside. I turned out the lights and headed up the stairs. On the landing I peered through the curtains for one last look at him. But there was no one there. He was gone. I just went to bed.” Repeated calls to the Bohannon household went unanswered. Neighbors claim to have seen Urquell Bohannon leaving home in a yellow cab with two medium-sized pieces of luggage at 5 am this morning. Their shades are drawn. The newspaper lies on the front stoop. Pernes Tounia Sharp Magazine .



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Body Found in Bohannon's Burned-Out Car Not Bohannon