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| Artist Statistics |
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Artistopia Rank : 6
Member Since : 2/2005
Last Login : 1/9/2012
Views : 136,037
Songs : 264
Events : 2
Alliances : 54
Releases : 29
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Artistopia URL :
http://www.artistopia.com/bohannon |
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| Latest Music By Bohannon |
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Bohannon Canon (The)
Published Date : 01-01-10
Total Downloads : 2,837
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News Article |
Artist News Home |
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Bohannon, Bono and Beckham Join Forces to Appeal to The Creator |
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| Published on 2/11/2006 |
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| By TB White |
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In a surprise announcement today, local pop star Bohannon, untouchable superstar Bono, and “bend it like” Beckham joined forces to approach God (also known as Allah, Vishnu and by hundreds of other monikers) and ask for calm in the wake of the shockingly offensive and lampooning cartoons recently published by a Scandinavian paper, Stahkas Sleeten Poiken.
“Well, I'm just really, really pissed,” God responded. “Sure, I'm the Creator of all of the Universes, all of the living beings, the matter, and the mysteries that animate them. I made life and consciousness and love and violence. I made water, fire, air and ice. I made atoms and quarks and protons and neutrons. I made the dark matter that continues to confound you.
“I made brain matter. And I made it think, feel and experience.
“I made solar systems filled with living and sentient organisms your science fiction cannot fathom. I made planets that mock all 'universal laws'. I made viruses, churches, temples and all of the holy books, texts and art. I made calmness and quiet and still, waveless lakes. I made Hendrix, Dylan., prayer and meditation.
“I made prayer rugs, holy walls and Mecca.
“I made Jesus, Buddha and Mohamed.
“I made dancing and I made walking, running, biking, swimming and the luge.
“I made you. And you were really easy. I mean, think about it, I made universes.
“I made bugs, dung and you.”
God paused for a moment, possibly to bask in our liberating, shameful truth.
“How offended would you be if I told you that a single bit of dust... nine hundred billion light years away on a cold, dead rock of a planet that was just about to be obliterated by a fiery comet four times its size...moved three millimeters toward you..”
He paused and Bono adjusted his dark, terribly expensive glasses. God continued, “That's a million times more offended than I could ever be if one of you made a cartoon of me.”
It was quiet for a moment. Then Bohannon spoke up, “Then why all the anger?”
“Because none of you have figured out yet that the ultimate reward for living a good life IS living a good life.”
“Oh, heavens,” Bono gasped.
“No,” God said “Heaven is mine. And why on earth would I want you people there?”
It was a good point, everyone realized. Both of them.
“So why are you pissed?” Bohannon asked.
“Because of all of you,” God responded. “You pretend to know me.”
Beckham broke into tears, until God continued, “But I love you all, still.”
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| Article Credits and References |
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| No Credits or References were provided by publisher |
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